Most of us know what a confinement month is. But for the benefit of those who don't, it's when a new mother, after being discharged from the hospital, stays at home (mostly or solely in her room) and is made to consume mainly herbal soup and ginger/wine-infused meat (with very little or no vege/fruits) for a whole entire month (or 40 days, not sure). On top of that, the mother is advised not to touch water (meaning no shower, no washing of the hair, etc), not to consume cold meals or liquid, and not to walk around so much for the fear that you will develop really bad cases of gout and weak joints later in life (like when you're 80 years old). And while the mother undergoes confinement, so does the baby (from the rest of the world and apparently also from the mother, depending how severe the confinement rules are in the household)! So who looks after the baby, you asked? Usually it's the Confinement Lady (CL) or the Mother-In-Law (MIL).
Now, I'm 100% Chinese and proud of it. However, if you were to ask my opinion on the confinement month thingy, I'd say it's mostly mythical, MOSTLY.
I recently gave birth to a healthy baby girl in Australia. (yay!) I went through a natural birth with no epidural and ended up with a third degree perineal tear (yeah, as horrible as it sounds, it's not the worse thing that could happen during a natural delivery, apparently). And guess what, the first meal the hospital provided me with? A plate of lean steak, a packet of COLD milk, 2 bottles of COLD water and an apple. Now, if I actually consumed the whole meal, I'd have broken all the rules of confinement! As much as I wanted to show that the confinement rules are purely myths, I decided not to take chances and took things moderately instead. So I asked for 2 bottles of room temperature water (actually, you're not even suppose to consume water, you're suppose to drink only boiled red date soup for the whole month) and I waited for the milk to erm, warm up (??) to room temp before gulping it down.
By the time I was discharged from the hospital (I was already walking out and about around the ward since day 2 despite the tear). I've already consumed beef, fish, chicken, lamb, veggies, apples and oranges. I've also had 5 packets of milk and 10 bottles of water. (yes, confinement ladies around the world are going to shoot me and tell me, 'you just wait and see'). Oh, and I've also taken a shower the very next day after delivery but I didn't wash my hair because in the midst of panicking during the first signs of labour, I actually forgot to bring my shampoos. Lol.
So during the course of 2 weeks postpartum, I drank water everyday, showered and washed my hair at least every alternate day, drank milk, ate heaps of fruits and veggies, and brought my baby to the living room everyday. To top it off, my husband and I are hands on at taking care of baby Leann ourselves (day and night, with a couple of hours off for the grandparents to spend some time with her everyday). We also went on an outing to get her birth cert done (and went to the mall after that to pick up some stuff) when she was just 6 days old. Just today (at 15 days old), I brought her out again, well, to see a child health officer for her routine check up. She's fit as a fiddle and so was I, according to the doc, I recovered from my tear really well. :)
So yes, literally I've broken every single rule in the confinement bible. But I'm proud that I didn't adhere to all the rules, especially the one that advises you to leave your child in the hands of others while you recuperate. Of course I'd appreciate a few hours off everyday (after birth is extremely tiring when you're sleep deprived and recovering at the same time) but I also loved how I was able to spend quality time with my little one during the first week. I truly believe that when it comes to motherhood, women were born to survive sleepless nights and postpartum pains and still be able to take good care of your baby (even though sometimes you'd quietly pray that she sleeps through longer so that you can have at least 4 hours of non-interrupted sleep).
So is the confinement theory is a myth or a must? I still don't know. My mom never went through confinement and she's well and healthy at 60 years of age (maybe things really only start to happen when you're 80?), both my sisters never went through confinement and they each have 3 healthy babies, the westerners don't do confinement and scientifically nothing real has been proven from the confinement theory...
But what I really know, is that I don't regret one bit not following all the rules of confinement. I think I'm a healthier and happier person without confinement. By walking around alot after birth, I recovered at a really fast pace; by showering at least, AT LEAST, once every 2 days, I was in a more hygiene state and I definitely felt more refreshed after that to handle baby challenges; by eating lots of fruits and veggies, I had no issues with constipation; and by having to look after my own child right after birth, I realized that mothers are truly amazing beings (not praising myself okay); by having a lovely mom to help me out with chores and cooking, adapting into motherhood is much easier; and by having a hands-on and supportive husband, family life with a new baby becomes more beautiful and meaningful.
So I guess here's to Motherhood, may this exciting yet challenging journey begin!
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