The Curious Case of Mommy Blues

The curious case of Mommy Blues

Mommy blues, or otherwise known as Post Partum Depression (PPD) is a common problem amongst new mothers. According to a research done in 2009, an estimated 13% of new mothers get it after the birth of their child.

Now, I've read alot into this issue and the midwives made sure I was aware of all the signs and symptoms of PPD before discharging me. So I was pretty sure I didn't have them and I was determined not to fall into the nasty PPD web.

I had, what you would call, a textbook/ angel baby, my husband was supportive, my parents were there to help with the household stuff, I had my eldest sister nearby if I needed extra advice... I mean, what else can u ask for, right?

But something my husband said the other night got me thinking. He sat me down on the 6th day after the birth of baby Leann and told me gently: 'Honey, I'm going to tell you something and I need you to understand that I'm not putting more pressure on you but you need to relax and take it easy.' I was taken aback and asked him what he meant, because I thought I seemed quite happy most of the time (trust my husband to be the one to notice anything 'off' about me). So he went on and told me about the times where he'd noticed I was more defensive and protective than usual about baby Leann, especially when my parents tried to intervene with my routine for her, and that I was trying too hard to be a perfect mother. So I listened to his take on the situation and finally, i broke down and started pouring my heart out to my husband.

I realized, in trying to hold it all together and not talking to anyone about my feelings of insecurity as a new mother (people bombarding you with all sorts of advice when you don't need them and questioning your methods doesn't exactly do a new mother any good, all it does is shake her confidence), I've begun falling into PPD. In my case, I'd say it was in the really early stages but I'm lucky that my husband loves and understands me extremely well and he was able to spot my problem before it got worse.

Nowadays, I've learnt to let go a little and be more flexible with baby Leann. I've learnt to speak my mind when it comes to my baby and not feel pressurized to conform and give in just because I feel like I needed to please the public of what they think is right for my child. I've learnt to filter unwanted advice and trust my own instinct as a mother.

One of the best advice I was ever given was by my second elder sister, who messaged me: 'I reckon u just gotta go with your heart and do what u feel is right. I know it's all very new and daunting but you'll know what works for you and you can trust your instincts. Everybody does things differently so there's really no right or wrong way!' (P/s I love you Susie!)

Holding onto that advice since then, I realized that I am becoming a better mom because I'm more confident in what I do. My sister's right, everyone does things differently and even though some may not agree with the way i bring up my child, it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm wrong, it just means I choose to do things differently. Every mother wants the best for her child and so do I.

Motherhood isn't easy. But to be able to experience birth (natural with no epidural and then end up with a third degree tear) and see my baby smiling back at me first thing in the morning makes it all worthwhile. And feeling the sense of pride and joy my husband has for the little miracle we've both created... absolutely priceless.

To my loving husband and precious little Leann, I'm so grateful to have you both in my life and I love you both very very much. :)